Batshit Album Review: Ellie Goulding's Lights
once upon a time i tried to write a minecraft parody of burn... it's just occurred to me that i have no idea where that txt file is, but i don't think it will ever see the light of day
In hindsight, Ellie Goulding’s career feels incredibly obvious. But when her first album came out, nobody knew what they were looking at. Her music was described as “acoustic-pop fusion,” “like Calvin Harris producing a Slow Club album,” and “folktronic.” Her music was synthy, but would sometimes have a little bit of guitar in the background. Nobody in the music press knew what they were looking at.
Nowadays, we have a name for her mix of folk-style singing and electronic beats – mainstream pop music. Releasing in early 2010 and hitting #1 on the UK music chart, the album is one of the earliest examples of the EDM craze taking over pop music throughout the early 2010s. After Lights, many artists came along who melded folk-ish singing with massive synthy hooks and bass drops. You’ve heard their work: Avicii, Martin Garrix, Bebe Rexha, Lorde, and unsurprisingly, Calvin Harris. Lana Del Rey had Summertime Sadness, Sam Smith had Latch, and Ed Sheeran had Lay It All on Me. But before all those songs had electronic dance beats and a singer who didn’t quite seem like a pop star, there was Ellie Goulding. And this is where that whole world started.
Lights — Single Version 💡💡💡
Okay, quick confession: this is not a review of the version of Lights that came out in 2010. This is technically a review of the American version that came out in 2011. Despite the album’s name, the song Lights was not included on its original release and was released over a year later. And when you listen to the song, that makes a lot of sense! Most of the acoustic stuff that defines the rest of the record is completely absent.
Anyway, I’m working from the American track list because it gives me the most to talk about. It has all the original tracks plus some other… hits. Or at least a song that was promoted over Lights that is going to seem insane later on. Technically speaking, it’s also the first track on the second Canadian version, so shoutout to the Commonwealth for making Canada the only country to get two versions of the same album. In the rest of the world, this song was a bonus on iTunes or only available as part of the Bright Eyes expanded edition.
Can you imagine being the British consumer who buys this album in 2011 and doesn’t get the best track on it? Or the Canadian who accidentally buys the first edition? Lights got a lot of 6/10 reviews when it came out and including the title track would have bumped it up by at least a point across the board. Insane!
Oh, and one last thing: the Bassnectar remix of this song is a 10/10. Just thought you should know.
Guns And Horses 🔫🐎🐎
Welcome to the bulk of the album! Most of this thing was created by the same crew: every track has Ellie Goulding and usually one other writer, along with Starsmith as the producer. Don’t ask who Starsmith is. He’s just Starsmith. He’s mostly known for working with Goulding but has some other credits across the British folk-EDM scene. Sorry, I guess the right term to be historically accurate is Folktronica. Which calls for a new feature of this review:
Charlie's list of bacon-certified folktronica moments:
1. the acoustic bass notes that lead into the busiest chorus i've ever heard
2. the ending with the handclaps and acapella vibes but also throbbing bass
3. all the glockenspiel
folktronica music rating: og macbook air/10
Sorry about the bacon-certified thing. I’m just trying to properly capture the spirit of 2010.
Starry Eyed 🤩🤩🤩
I’ve realized that this is the only other song I knew well from this album apart from the title track. We’re getting closer to the modern synth hook on this one, which is a nice way of saying that the line of the chorus that will get stuck in your head is “Woah, oh, oh, ah, ah.”
Quick disclosure: I write these pieces by listening to the songs on loop until I'm done talking about them. This song gets grating on loop fast, but damn the production is still great.
Charlie's list of bacon-certified folktronica moments:
1. The glitchy voice effects over the fingerpicked guitar
2. The guitar part meshing with the 808 drums
3. The way the drums pick up and shuffle near the end of every chorus
folktronica music rating: bushwick warehouse rave serving mason jar cocktails/10
This Love (Will Be Your Downfall)🫀🧗♀️💔
For the first ten seconds of this song, it sounds like it could be off The Tortured Poets Department. And then the synths are better than that album.
Actually, parts of this song sound like they could be off Reputation. And I guess thematically some of it could be off Lover?
Okay fine, I’ll just say it: why does this track sound like Taylor Swift but good?
I’m kidding. Mostly.
Charlie's list of mlg pro-gamer moments:
1. The pronunciation of "love" as "lauve"
2. All the synths that sound like the minecraft soundtrack
3. The ending that sounds like a fancy version of the minecraft soundtrack
4. The pronunciation of "be and end all" as "be nintendo"
gamer music rating: wii 2 concept art/10
taylor swift should fire jack antonoff and hire lena raine
Under The Sheets 📃📃📃
THIS WAS THE LEAD SINGLE? huh.
It’s definitely closer to regular synthpop. There’s audible autotune at certain points in the song. I mean, autotune strong enough to definitely be intentional. The song feels repetitive, but often has a layered chorus effect that makes a lot of parts really easy to listen to.
Charlie's list of certified bacon folktronica moments:
1. Yup, they snuck in the glockenspiel
2. Oh, and an acoustic on the bridge
folktronica music rating: ironic The Rapture t-shirt/10
It’s yet another song about a bad relationship, but this one is darker than the rest of them. Choosing your darkest song as the lead single feels like an abnormal choice to me. I guess in an era where your closest comparison is Ke$ha, this song reads as being upbeat and poppy? This has weird A&R written all over it.
The Writer ✍️✍️✍️
Oh, this song was definitely on TTPD, at least based on the production. Although I think that if somebody tried to write this today, there would be some concerns about how the “devotion” on this song comes off as total sublimation of one’s personality. It’s giving Manic Pixie Dream Girl vibes a lot of the time.
Charlie's list of certified bacon folktronica moments:
1. The piano/synth breakdown after the second chorus
2. There is a guitar strumming the whole time.
folktronica music rating: lena dunham/10
Weirdly, this song has the same production and writing crew as Starry Eyed. Anyway, given the offer to remove her entire personality, you already know that this was Ellie Goulding’s fourth single. It’s a major label’s wet dream!
Animal 🐳🐅🦟
This song doesn’t feel like folktronica to me. I think there’s what would go on to be called an Ed Sheeran-styled verse and the rest sounds like an EDM song with a voice over it. This song is a clusterfuck, but honestly it kind of fits thematically with being an animal so maybe it gets a pass?
Fun fact: this song was not on the original album release, but was on Bright Lights internationally and then made its way into the American release. It seems to have been swapped with a song called “Wish I Stayed” which, considering the rest of this album, is hopefully about a healthy relationship.
hahahaha the first thirty seconds of this song sound like they’re playing Mark Mothersbaugh’s Rushmore score at the same time as Hans Zimmer’s Inception score wtf
Every Time You Go 💩❌🔄
Okay, this song is actually really interesting story-wise! And the production is fun! Tape me up, then break me up. It’s an interesting way of talking about going in circles that feels like it’s being sung from every point in the loop.
Important question: where did the folk production go? This is pure layered vocals and synth. This song is missing a lot of the shimmery qualities that helped keep the sadder songs feeling a bit lighter than this, but maybe makes up for it with its more interesting lyrics. This track feels like one of those tracks that predicts the sound of the next album, like Out of the Woods on 1989. Actually, the layered vocals on this sound a lot like Out of the Woods as well. This song would belong in 2014 purely on general vibes.
Charlie's list of Ellen-selfie certified 2014 moments:
Your Biggest Mistake 🤡🤡🤡
The guitar riff on this one sounds a lot like Post Malone. Actually, the whole structure kind of reminds me of I Had Some Help. The chorus also has a similar, but faster, vocal run to Adele’s Set Fire to the Rain, which shares a co-writer with this song.
Charlie's list of certified bacon folktronica moments:
1. The violin stabs in the prechorus that kind of also give Vampire Weekend
2. The piano and handclap bridge that leads into synth and fingerpicked guitar
folktronica music rating: canadian indie sleaze/10
Anyway, I appreciate the positive attitude in this song! It’s nice to hear something nice being destroyed instead of something bad continuing forward. But this is a good example of how Starsmith’s twinkly production (especially right at the end of the bridge) can help make these lyrical details feel better. It’s a really well-done version of maximalism that I don’t think got carried through into any future folk-EDM songs.
Salt Skin 🧂🏻
This is the last track on the original edition of Lights. And it’s a synthpop song. It’s an 808s and Heartbreak-style synthpop song.
Y’all, I’m going to be honest: I don’t this this album used real drums. I think they found some natural-sounding drum samples and have been pretending like they recorded an actual drum kit this whole time, which is enough of an actual recording that they could get away with pretending that there was a folk basis to every track. Of course, the next album wouldn’t have this problem, and it would be even bigger.
By the way, I don’t know what salt skin means. Does it mean she’s dry? That cuts always hurt really badly? That she was a valuable resource hundreds of years ago that wars were fought over?

Your Song 👈👈😃
This is a piano ballad rendition of an Elton John song. It’s drawn out and dry. It does not fit on this album!
And it wasn’t intended to! In the UK, it was recorded for something called a John Lewis Christmas advert, which is like a Super Bowl ad for Christmas. In the UK, this is the final track on the Bright Lights expanded edition of the album wherever that can be found. And sure, it’s an interesting inclusion. It hit #2 on the UK Charts!
But, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, Ellie Goulding is not on the same performance tier as Elton John. One of them has a bit more… basically everything actually. And considering the song’s popularity was based on appearing in a UK-only advert, maybe it should have been left off.
BUT WAIT A MASSIVE SURPRISE JUMPS DOWN FROM THE TOP ROW
CHARLIE'S LIST OF CERTIFIED BACON FOLKTRONICA MOMENTS:
1. THE PRODUCER OF THIS SONG IS THE ACCORDION PLAYER IN MUMFORD AND SONS, AND THAT'S FOLKY AF EVEN IF HIS PRODUCTION ON THIS TRACK IS SO BLAND IT MAKES 4:33 SOUND LIKE SKRILLEX
FOLKTRONICA MUSIC RATING: AN UNFORTUNATE MUMFORD AND SONS/10
Human 👨🦲
Charlie's list of certified bacon folktronica moments:
1. The acoustic guitar/synth baseline combo goes hard
2. The prechorus is giving MGMT
3. The ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-oohs in the chorus
4. The jingly guitar at the start of the song is a little U2
folktronica music rating: lack of rent control in brooklyn/10
You know what, Ellie? This album has been a little emotionally exhausting, so I’m glad you want to be human in the end. But of course, we know now that this desire turned out to be less of a Greta Van Fleet desire to be human, and more of a Charli XCX desire to be human, which is the way the whole music industry turned out to be going. Wait, why am I not listening to brat right now?
Pike Ale is what you get when you put infinite monkeys in front of infinite typewriters and try to get them to write Modest Mouse songs. It’s co-produced with the people who came up with the UDraw GameTablet and the Dune popcorn bucket. It’s a gentleman that refuses to show its gentleness. It’s a bad idea and I’m all about it. It publishes from time to time and if you like it then please consider subscribing.